The end is near

I saw hunger games last night. I won't give a review or commentary on the metaphors but I will say it caused me to reconsider how the end is near.

I keep thinking if I really understood how the end times will be (in horror and pain)I would share the gospel... But the reality is- the end is near for thousands of souls at this moment - and at this moment I am as vain as those fictional characters in the Capitol , I'm just better at hiding it.

Ministry + Earthly Reality + Future reality= life as i know it

I stopped blogging- you may have noticed. I just couldn't think of anything to say. I don't know where people get these ideas from to write about and i have had friends encouraging me to recount the journey of ministry- but I have no idea where to pull the words from. So here is an attempt to fill you in honestly and succinctly on the reality of our current ministry.


Chris and I have been living at Sacandaga Bible Conference in Broadalbin, NY since September of last year. Chris is the maintenance director here and I... I catch a lot of Price is Right... (joke-sort of) I help here and there. Got to paint Chris' office and help design the camp brochure for 2012. Mostly any movement for me has been through our church. Have been just trying to meet and love people- have meals, live in other people lives in the hope of changing the world.

And this is where I am trying to face God because the picture I thought he was giving me and the reality of ministry are so very different. I thought I would come, like a force of nature and put my energy into this camp until the point of exhaustion. I thought we would renovate the A-frame we live in and make it the place people come to for safety, hugs, weeping, prayer and definitely singing and dancing! But the picture i cant see is so different.

People come to our house, despite the rather hideous paneling and spiders, and I try to accept that my home will never be featured in some cool thrifty renovation article. And the picture includes exactly enough for our needs plus the occasional date or movie, but i surrender my aesthetic expectations to the God who will sacrifice the physical for the sake of my spiritual growth.

And the picture brings a friend named Stephanie who somehow will have the same yet not the same job as me this summer (nevermind) who i can pray with and dream and plan with and hopefully come up with exciting games and themes for the summer. But it scares me too because I don't know where it will all go or come from or if it will happen.

There are pieces i think i can see but i struggle with skepticism- will this happen, is there hope- how long will i sit in this ministry waiting room?

And in the picture i realize i am just as much as ever an insane control freak, a narcissist and scared of being alone all while running every time something starts feeling too rhythmic. So as I am here, in Ny, in the woods I had been longing for- God has handed me a mirror.. plus himself.

not my home and not my home

sorry it has been a while since my last post- I am by no means a consistent, or addicted blogger.

The saturday after thanksgiving the same person who tiled our bathroom helped us by tiling our woodstove wall also. We now have a slate back splash and base for the stove and it is really beautiful! It was interesting though, we got into a conversation about the type of accent strip I wanted on the wall and i couldn't decide so i blurted out, 'well it's not my home and it's not my home so it doesn't really matter'. If only i was more disciplined in living this truth.

We live at Sacandaga Bible Camp in one of their cabins and so in a literal sense it is not my home because i don't own it. But in a more literal, more.... truer spiritual reality this is not my home at all. And yet every few days, or hours i get sucked into trying to make my life and my house look like a magazine. I believe in using the 5 senses to enjoy beauty and that even that enjoyment worships God- but i also think that i am prone to spend more time worshiping a cute stack of old books or antique bottles than my savior.

So I am trying to remain just a bit displaced. :)

Weekend

Chris and I got to help with an 'all-nighter' this past friday-saturday. We had around 30 kids go to a word of life event in albany and -despite how much i love sleep, it went really well. We also hit some other markers (yay)

our wood stove is in and working, i posted practically identical pictures three days in a row on facebook i was just so happy about it. We also have a lovely tile job finished around the tub and on the floor of the bathrooms, so tomorrow we will install the shower curtain and hardware, hopefully tomorrow night i will be able to shower here in my own house- its been... 11 days without a shower, fortunately no one is living in the A-Frame next door and if i lived in a mansion the bathroom would probably be the same distance away :) So i'm living it up in two Aframes right now.

Still have a mouse- i practically 'bounded' (like the jackalope in that pixar mini-film) out of bed in the middle of last night to try and GET him... get him, as if you 'get' a mouse. So little mouse, I will rejoice, as in old testament times, over your dead body soon because you have made war against the clean stewardship of my kitchen and the carbohydrates i hold so dearly!

And so on, and so forth

We have a few more projects going on than I expected- I really like it when Chris and I finish one project at a time but that just isn't the case with this abode. So, we are still working on the Kitchen, Chris started insulating upstairs, the chimney is almost done, (although I can still see the sky when I look up at it and I'm not sure if that is on purpose), we have started renovating the bathroom... and so on and so forth.

So i am marveling at how the Lord is providing. Thank you to those praying!!! He has provided for a wood burning stove, and 20+ feet of piping for the chimney, and the bathroom tile I mentioned in another post.

Also, it seems, that the Lord will be bringing a pastor on at the church we are attending, starting in the new year. I had the opportunity to meet them and was completely encouraged by their joy and charisma but most of all by their passionate love for God- I have a rather deep appreciation for the marriage of orthodoxy and orthopraxy! How can we love God and not love our community?!~ so yes, I am very excited about the Pastoring family that is coming.

In other news I saw the bald eagles again this past weekend, they were circling over the beach making amazing calls- it was - well, worshipful!

Finally, i have started working on all our taxes for next year! We are going to have to file all the improvements we made on our past house to compensate for the 'obama tax refund' we received. So i figured i should get a head start on that!

Please pray:

A mouse got to my spatulas and for some reason, even after disinfecting i was pretty discouraged- i mean (ew ew ew!!!) we are talking my kitchen aid and william sonoma spatulas that i got for my wedding and you don't just go pick those up... bummer.

but more so, Pray for a growing heart for the area and means to meet and get to to know people!

here and there

Hey all!

Sorry there haven't been many pictures since the first week- I will do a whole 'before-after' and some scenic stuff once we get somewhere that you can tell from a picture- i think right now it would be "oh hey, you put that bottle over there!" which isn't worth a picture.

well how about some amazing providence stories instead!!

We have been blessed to get to know some people who love the Lord in the area! One is an artist (yay!) and she is interested in a collaboration of art movement like myself (bigger yay!) so as i get more settled we will see how to go about drawing artists together- especially to the Glory of God.

We also met someone who does tiling professionally and will tile our bathroom and shower for us!!! this is extremely exciting and, one day, when you see a picture- you will understand why. He even had some beautiful blue/green collage type strips from a job he just finished that we can use! I knew a big remodel of the bathroom wouldn't be a financial priority so i am thankful for the Lord blessing us in this obviously unneeded way.

I started a grant writing class today and will finish it tomorrow- it goes through how to find foundations that will fund the projects you need and how to write the grant properly! If you have time and are gifted in writing this is an excellent way to bless a ministry you care about- there are millions of dollars in grants that can be applied for. So i am hoping to help the camp in that way.

We will be insulating the house this weekend- it has insulation that is about an inch thick so we will be adding to it and then dry-walling. - no chimney yet for our wood burning stove but that will come and *hey, chris got rid of our atrociously ugly pink toilet seat so there is a lot to be thankful for.

Missing friends in Indiana! especially the many listeners and collaborators and Bethel! :)

Please pray! Pray for funds for the camp to finish up some big projects this winter- the biggest being their chapel - the "tabernacle" and for safety for Chris and those that help him work on it. I think my first grant will be a request for funding the renovation and tech-update of the office so please pray for clarity of thought and that it will be accepted.

Finally please continue to pray for growing friendships here that are encouraging and challenging :)

more to come-

One month

Yesterday I got to talk to our camp director about his programming ideas for next summer! It was exciting and encouraging- AND it was on the '*one month' to the day of us arriving- neat huh?! I am excited to continue to get to know the camp and the people supporting, volunteering, working here. This camp is eager to work in its mission field- the surrounding area and I love that they are reaching out to kids through day and overnight camp and families through retreats, camps and concerts. I see ways in which the camp reaches out so that the truth of Jesus is spread and God is glorified. :)

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.